Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Ladies...why do we ignore the red flags?

Check out this episoode of Martin! lol! Perfect example!

I view a lot my clients like dear friends! We always get into great conversations about men and the topic that came up was "Why do we ignore the red flags"? Some of the things we deal with just to have a man around! Come on ladies! Some of yal need to wake up!

1. Number one! Men are very simple!(In more ways than one...hehehe)If he has told you...point blank "I don't want a relationship" "I am not wanting to take this any further""I enjoy our friendship". Don't set yourself up for heartbreak! Nobody likes to feel rejected! But If his feelings are not on the same levels as yours...Its not ok for him to run around playing the field while you sit and wait for him to get it outa his system! its best that you free yourself up for someone that will have your best intrests in mind, ;) Plus there is nothing wrong with giving him a little healthy competition!

2. Three strikes you're out! I believe in giving chances...but I do not believe in being a glutton for punishment!!! First time he makes a mistake shame on him...the next time shame on you! Approaching the third time...what else do you need to see honey? If you continue to deal with his mess, he now feels that the ball is in his court and that you will deal with whatever he dishes out! And why blame him? You are! Place some value on yourself and move forward! Its better to get him outa your system now, than to invest any more emotion than you already have... That goes for any mistake (cheating, standing you up, disregarding your feelings...etc.). If he continues to hurt you over and over simply means he has no respect for your feelings...apologies become empty when the person knew what they were doin in the first place.

3 Actions speak louder than words! If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck...well sweet pea! It ain't a giraffe! If his actions are not matching his words...go with your gut! If the only time he can make you feel anything is when he is almost inside of you...beware! Men know how to show love...they just choose who they are gona show it too! And if he is not spending that quality time with you...more than likely he is spending it with someone else! Humans are bred for companionship...its just a fact of life! You don't have to kick, scream or cry to get a man to be around if he wants to! Trust me! If you feel like somn just doesn't add up! Do u really want to wait around to let it slap you in the face? There is someone out there who just IS that person...and he will make you feel excatly the way you want to! Don't miss out on Mr. Right cause you are all caught up with Mr. Wrong...

4. Stop waisting time! A man knows when he is ready to settle doesnt take him 10 years (in which I have been a victim myself) to figure it out! They have this "idea" of who wifey is in there head, and if they are moving in that direction, they will certainly let you know! They say men marry for timing...and women marry for love. All that is to say that it doesn't matter how pretty you are, how good in bed, or how big yo booty is! He knows how far he is going to take it with you, damn near the first time he meets you!!! If he gets comfortable, its because we allow it! Cookin and cleanin and birthin babies for someone who has no plans of being your husband is cool for him, but silly of you! What are you gettin out of the deal? Those are the duties of a wife, you hold off until he put-a-ring on it!!! Every once in a while is ok...just not all the time! Men like the why not give them somethin to work for?

5. Watch his relationships...How does he get along with his mom? Sisters, friends, mother of his children? This is super important! And it will reveal more than he will ever be able to tell you! If he has never seen or had healthy relationships...this can be a real issue down the line in terms of commitment and stability. Everyone has a story, yes, and all is not sweet. But this can be a huge red flag...and often the hardest to look over! So don't! Be observant, and ask questions...with timing and tact in mind of course!

Feel free to comment! I love the feedback! Ciao Bellas! ;-*