How does it feel? Looking at my work in the industry...

People ask me all of the time how it feels to see my work in magazines and on tv? And as much as I would like to be completely smitten by it...its always bittersweet for me. Don't get me wrong...I am very proud of my accomplishments! But I critique myself soooo hard! All that I can see is imperfection, and everything that I coulda, woulda, shoulda done. "Next time I will go harder on this", "Next time I need to blend this more", "Next time I will try this color"...constant mental notation!!! At times I wish I could get that "innocent" eye back. The eye that never knew the jargon and rigamaro of the make up industry...the detail and complexity of all that goes into beating a face. So I can simply see my work like others do. I am aware that everyone is harder on themselves, I see women do it all the time! But having your work across the pages and TV screens of America is a little different. I never want to be caught without my best foot forward! I don't think I will ever be "satisfied"...I honestly think I will be as critical of myself in 10 years as I am now! lol! But I guess, at the end of the day, this is why I am going to make it in this industry!!! This is only the beginning! I will get to where I am going! Or surely die trying!
Also check out my work with Fantasia in this week's People Magazine!!! (John Edward's Wife is on the cover)