I've been debating whether to share this with the world...and my sense of "keeping it real" just won't let it go! I get so many request from other MUA's or those wanting to break into the industry...and I often wonder if they can deal with this point of the business cycle. Working for yourself isn't always fun, and in this business in particular...it isn't always "pretty". Especially if you value it as an art form. Of course I always look like I have it together, and all things are Grand! But there is a dark side to entreprenuership...a lonely place that even those closest to you can't understand( but will hopefully respect). I am craving something to inspire me...evolution into the next phase of my artistry. I feel stifled, bonded, restricted. Something like an extreme asmha attack...like I jumped up in the air and was going at light speed and hit an air bubble that I am now suspended in. Im waiting for this bubble to break! So I can proceed at light speed again...
There are so many peaks and valleys to entreprenuership...adding the hi's and lows of being an artist to that are like little heavens and hells! Yeah! That's a good way to describe it...little heavens and hells! When creativity is flowing and your imagination is coming to life, that is heaven for the artist! You see the beauty in everything, and you want to share it with the world! You have something to offer the world, and you can't wait to bless them with it!
The flip side to that (this moment I'm experiencing) is when you don't feel challenged. When you can see the beauty in everyone else's stuff but your own. When you simply don't want to talk to people you know have absolutely no idea how you feel, and introversion settles in. When you are looking for any medium of inspiration, buying random magazines that catch your eye, listening to the same cd's and songs over and over again trying to get the answer, browsing the internet for that person who's story will give you life again. When every suggestion from those not like you sound stupid and redundant. This is the darker side...and when art is how you make your money, this is not good. But it simply...is.
I've learned to get comfortable with this phase of business and artistry. It's not the first time I've been here, and it definitely won't be the last. Its part of growth, as a person, an artist and business woman. I used to get depressed, but I now know it is only a moment...one that I can use as fuel to my fire. Its my inner self's way of saying "It's time for what's next". No one can tell me what I need to do...only I have the answers to the questions I have. Its all about learning what my soul is trying to teach me...and I am forever learning to listen intently. I don't know what's next...I just want to be ready!
A few things are inspiring me right now
* Long walks with my dog
* Hot Ginger Tea
* Laughing with friends...(about the most random things)
Erykah came out with the album just in time...I soooo needed this!
This ladies show and book are giving me astronomical insight into the future!
Oh yeah! And sushi makes me happy too! lol ;)