Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Dark Side of the Biz...the One you don't hear about

I've been debating whether to share this with the world...and my sense of "keeping it real" just won't let it go! I get so many request from other MUA's or those wanting to break into the industry...and I often wonder if they can deal with this point of the business cycle. Working for yourself isn't always fun, and in this business in isn't always "pretty". Especially if you value it as an art form. Of course I always look like I have it together, and all things are Grand! But there is a dark side to entreprenuership...a lonely place that even those closest to you can't understand( but will hopefully respect). I am craving something to inspire me...evolution into the next phase of my artistry. I feel stifled, bonded, restricted. Something like an extreme asmha I jumped up in the air and was going at light speed and hit an air bubble that I am now suspended in. Im waiting for this bubble to break! So I can proceed at light speed again...

There are so many peaks and valleys to entreprenuership...adding the hi's and lows of being an artist to that are like little heavens and hells! Yeah! That's a good way to describe it...little heavens and hells! When creativity is flowing and your imagination is coming to life, that is heaven for the artist! You see the beauty in everything, and you want to share it with the world! You have something to offer the world, and you can't wait to bless them with it!
The flip side to that (this moment I'm experiencing) is when you don't feel challenged. When you can see the beauty in everyone else's stuff but your own. When you simply don't want to talk to people you know have absolutely no idea how you feel, and introversion settles in. When you are looking for any medium of inspiration, buying random magazines that catch your eye, listening to the same cd's and songs over and over again trying to get the answer, browsing the internet for that person who's story will give you life again. When every suggestion from those not like you sound stupid and redundant. This is the darker side...and when art is how you make your money, this is not good. But it

I've learned to get comfortable with this phase of business and artistry. It's not the first time I've been here, and it definitely won't be the last. Its part of growth, as a person, an artist and business woman. I used to get depressed, but I now know it is only a that I can use as fuel to my fire. Its my inner self's way of saying "It's time for what's next". No one can tell me what I need to do...only I have the answers to the questions I have. Its all about learning what my soul is trying to teach me...and I am forever learning to listen intently. I don't know what's next...I just want to be ready!

A few things are inspiring me right now
* Long walks with my dog
* Hot Ginger Tea
* Laughing with friends...(about the most random things)
Erykah came out with the album just in time...I soooo needed this!

This ladies show and book are giving me astronomical insight into the future!

Oh yeah! And sushi makes me happy too! lol ;)


  1. As an artist/writer. I've gone through the high's and lows with my writing. I'll have bursts of creativity and I'll feel like a Sonia Sanchez/Nikki G poet extraordinaire then sh!t gets stagnate and I can't even pop out a Dr. Seuss rhyme. It's what happens to us creative folk but sometimes I think it's the Creator's way of telling us to slow down and breathe and think. I know you Joy and lawd girl, sometimes you move so fast you forget to breathe! Sometimes you just have to BE. You know...just be and it's hard, because makeup is your living, but know that you've been gifted this skill, and you are walking and living in your calling. That right there is the most awesome thing ever,so the Creator will sustain you during those down times.


    erykah had some words about creative block.

    something that's working for me:
    LIVE and ENJOY. make briefs notes about things that inspire you.
    if looking at clouds blows your mind
    break it down into small things that inspire-
    what can you do with white (or grey)?
    what can you do with round?
    what can you do with fluffy?
    reinterpret things you enjoy one element at a time. you can't recreate clouds. be inspired by them.
    even if you write down ideas somewhere to be revisited later. but just LIVE and ENJOY.

  3. Joy, I love this post. I feel the same way. It's good to know that I am not alone.